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We’re Gona Need A Bigger Gun!
Posted by Dekko on Jan 24th 2009 15:05
Insomniac Games release ‘Resistance: Fall of Man’ was the Playstation 3’s answer to the Xbox 360’s ‘Gears of War’. If that was the answer then maybe Sony need to speak a bit louder, this they have done with ‘Resistance 2’, funnily enough Sony’s answer to ‘Gears of War 2’. Do they fare better this time?
(Please note, this is part one of an article and not a definitive review.)
Poor Nathan Hale, life is taking a decidedly cruel turn for the young GI who only signed up with the US Army Rangers due to a head full of lusty images ripe with foreign lands and their neglected ladies, pliable with his desirable wears of nylon stockings and chocolate bars but instead he gets Chimera with large guns, pointy teeth, yellow ooze and no lady bits in sight, it’s a pure tentacle fest.
First he gets dumped in 1950’s York on a wet Wednesday and has to deal with a palette of brown, beige and slightly different brown then he gets a stringent dose of the Chimeran Clap and has to shoot baddies while having to deal with coma, weird eyes, increased strength (marginally), health regeneration &, big whoop, increased metabolism (so snacking is not a sin for the Sarge).
The game is an alternate history sci-fi romp where you shoot things in increasingly more depressing English towns, try and engage with a weak story about ‘Angels’ and metallic towers throughout England and generally wonder why you’re bothering. Then you go online to a lag free, 40 player room of silence.
(OK, so I’m down on ‘Resistance 1’ but it was a major disappointment on the PS3’s release but, many say, Insomniac were rushed & no-one had headsets back when I played it on the machines release, so………….)
Now there is ‘Resistance 2’.
Well folks, life has not improved much for old Nathan, who is still alive (presumed dead at the end of 1 but we, the all wise gamer, know better as we saw Hale walking through the post-apocalypse of London with but one ‘nade before being accostered by some uniformed gentlemen).
Back to the now & he’s still dripping with a dirty virus although he does now have a flashlight. He will most definitely need it as sections of the game are DARK and that all important limited health regeneration will come into play straight away as your floating gun crouches behind an indestructible crate while your screen fades back to normal from your cunning ploy of avoiding the nasty gun fire for 10 seconds, if you’re able.
At least the graphics, particularly the colours, aren’t all taken from the paint box of a suicidal cardboard box fanatic who craves the world to be brown or we all have to rot, no, now we have cartoon-esque visuals (when we can see through the black! Oh, the black raven of Death mother creeps across my screen! Black! Black!) that guide us through our adventure, although the Chimera do look suitably more ‘full of body’ when viewed close up and shot. Over and over.
So, the guns are typical Insomniac OTT fare but they seem wasted in this game and even with the thudding rumble from the Dual Shock 3 you feel as disconnected from the action as you did in ‘Resistance 1’.
Oh sweet tap dancing Christ, I know this is but my first impressions of the game after about an hours play but do they have to be so negative?
For example; you walk ten yards into another enemy encounter in which you’ll probably die unless you employ either the ‘crouch behind a crate and then pop up to shoot’ technique, or the Sir Robin sponsored ‘run away until you find somewhere to heal then pop back out & shoot’ manoeuvre, I mean, for the love of baps; if you need to keep down so much (with your wonderful super abilities and all!) to avoid fire then put in a bloody cover system!
The story has switched to America now, the Chimera having made their way across the ocean so now, with it hitting the States, things have got serious (underlined for your convenience)!! This is despite the UK being a ruinous heap, of course.
You join a group of clap infected ner’do’wells called ‘The Sentinels’ as you try and put a halt to the simultaneous East and West coast invasion by the dreaded Chimera (if only Biggie and Tupac could of seen this) and so on but you’ll probably skip all that and go straight for the whiz whiz, bang bang stuff, well all I can say after my brief time with the game so far is that you’ll probably skip that bit too as the game seems like another Sony white elephant at this point.
It’s a good job us sturdy & trusted reviewers don’t review stuff after just a brief play (honest) because after my first hour this would be getting one of Spinal Tap’s old two word reviews; ‘sh*t sandwich’.
But there is so much left to play and so little time! See you in part two where, hopefully, I’ll love this dross of a game and will declare it a classic to be admired at court & enjoyed by the dandy Prince Regent, innit………………
*Stay tuned for next weeks thrilling instalment of ‘Biased Reviewer Clap-trap’ when we carry on with our reasoned & thought-out look at ‘Resistance 2’ and see what more hours of game time may bring!
Also, we dissect the spiritual degradation of ‘Galaga Legions’.